In general, if a person wonders what orientation they have chosen, they have not yet chosen. Those who have chosen their orientation have almost daily clues that they have made a choice, and that they are solidly in one camp or the other.
For those in the Service-to-Other, they not only find themselves frequently musing about the welfare of others, they take steps to enhance the welfare of others. These steps are not a mere phone call inquiring about someone’s health, but require the concerned one to go out of their way, spending precious time that would otherwise be spent on recreation or pleasure or bettering one’s circumstances, or spending personal resources such as savings or personal possessions. These steps are not done as a result of a resolve to become a Service-to-Other person, they are done automatically. If one needs reminders to take these steps, then they are trying to become an individual operating in the Service-to-Other, and have not yet arrived.
For those in the Service-to-Self, the focus on the self is never ending. It is a rare and fleeting moment that this individual ponders another’s circumstances, most likely because the other’s circumstances reminded the individual solidly in the Service-to-Self of his own past. At these times the individual will quickly correct themselves, getting back to the business at hand─self interest. Where the person firmly in the Service-to-Other orientation will of course have occasional preoccupation with self, and even give the self priority at time, the person firmly in the Service-to-Self continually takes this posture.